What Kind of Fresher are You?

By Mina Green

When you live in a cosmopolitan city, you’re bound to encounter people from all walks of life – people you’ll adore, and people who’ll make you shudder when you catch a glimpse of them trying on suede hot pants in Urban Outfitters. The beauty of university’s rich tapestry is the eclectic combination of souls. Whether you’re a serious academic with a list of achievements as long as your arm (head-girl, long-jump champion, etc.) or a laid-back learner with the Inbetweeners credits as your mental screen saver, your character is sure to make an impression during freshers. Take a peek at our list to find out what type of fresher you are.

The Academic

Perhaps you were a school prefect, or part of the debating club. Either way, your interests span a number of topics outside of the regular Uni boozing and your main focus is to learn hard and get some shiny new As in return. You’re conscientious and hard working, and your peers will look up to you for your motivation and intelligence. While you do like to party now and again, you prefer spending your down time with a Pinot Noir circa 2011 and a hefty Oscar Wilde novel.


The Party Monster

Never without your sturdy hipflask, as a party animal you’re wild and untamable creature. Venturing into the depths of your local watering hole you’re bound to cause havoc. Your friends admire your carefree spirit but not so much your borderline-alcoholism.

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The Parent

Now you’re all up for having a good time, but cleaning up Lambrini vomit from the kitchen sink is not your idea of fun. You make sure you’re sensible when it comes to drinking and being safe, and your mates are grateful for your help when they can’t help themselves. Wise beyond your years, you’re always there for anyone in need of advice. You’re also great at making poached eggs (you know you’re an adult when you can rustle up a shockingly good poached egg).



The Enthusiast

Hurtling down student halls half cut or making new friends in the nightclub bathroom, whatever you do you do enthusiastically. Everything is AMAZING and AWESOME and your sunny positivity tends to rub off on those around you. Starting university is a fun time in your life, and you make sure you appreciate every minute of it.


The Village Kid

Hailing from a teeny tiny town in the middle of nowhere, you could count a rolling hay bail among your list of friends. Coming from a place where you know the postman’s name, it’s difficult moving to a city where you suddenly become anonymous. You relish the freedom the city provides, but sometimes miss your community and support network back home.  Despite your sheltered background, you’re open to learning new things and discovering what uni life has to offer.



The Scrooge

Uni halls come all inclusive: heating, water, laundry. You make sure you take advantage of every penny that you (or your parents) are spending. Taking hour-long showers are just common sense if you want to make the most of your dollar, so is converting your room into a Swedish sauna during the Winter months. When you encounter freebies or amazing promos you get so excited a little bit of wee comes out.


The Lone Rider

You know what you like and you like what you know. You prefer to not involve yourself in large social events or unfamiliar situations. It’s too much hassle and to much noise. You prefer having a few drinks with your close friends and chatting about things that interest you. You don’t have the patience for a ‘lads night out’ as your gentle and humble demeanor can’t take the hype. Your friends respect your Zen energy and your confidence in the comfort of solitude.


The Idle

You like to be out all night and sleep all day. As a nocturnal being who relishes the comfort of the darkness, you are hesitant to embrace the light of day and face that pile of dirty dishes with stuff growing on them. You find peace in chaos. Scattered between Netflix binges and Domino’s you find the time to attend a lecture or two. Others envy your laid-back attitude to life, but not your laid-back attitude to taking the bins out.


The Couple  

You’re two halves of the same whole. Attached at the hip and with an instinct telepathic relationship you don’t go anywhere without each other. Whether you’re a new couple or you’ve been dating since you were 13, you sprinkle the essence of your infatuation everywhere you go. And although sometimes your Disney-esque bliss can be overwhelming for others, you make the best of your young love – this means doing a Greggs run for your hungover other half. Now that’s the epitome of true love.


The Aristocrat

Despite the fact that your private school endeavours have proved to be starkly different from university life, you still enjoy reaping the benefits of your lavish lifestyle. You shop at Waitrose and don Abercrombie and Fitch, but this doesn’t mean you can’t also enjoy pre-drinks with a bottle of bucky (well, after a Hendricks and tonic).

Stephen Fry






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